Living Will

New Living Will Form

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers and doctors interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

______a Glass of Chianti
______a Glass of Pinot Grigio
______Bruschetta
______the Keys to my Spider
______a Shot of Limoncello
______an Adjustable Spanner
______Grappa
______the Latest Issue of Alfa Owner
______a Pizza Margherita
______Pat Braden’s Alfa Romeo Owner’s Bible
______a Cappuccino
______an eBay Listing of all Alfas For Sale
______Tiramisu
______Sex

it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. At this point it is time to call the Fat Lady to come do her thing at my memorial service, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.


Signature: ___________________________

Date: ___________________________